Ok. It’s time to be very blunt. Hopefully the young men (and some older) will learn whom to stay away from like the plague, and women will take heed to not ruin their future. I believe I have enough experience, both direct and indirect to make these observations.
In the past, I have used karate-do as an analogy, hinting at how life mimics karate-do. I have mentioned, for example, the student who would come to me and tell me they wanted to train at another dojo and mine simultaneously…or the student who would get all his information from YouTube videos, only to use the dojo as his personal testing grounds rather than trusting the teaching and leadership of his sensei. I have also mentioned the student who wanted to do certain things, but avoid the more unpleasant (in his mind) aspects of karate practice. I have mentioned the students who were there to get attention rather than to get soberly acquainted with themselves to improve their lives. I have mentioned the student who was financially well off, but felt he shouldn’t need to pay karate dues. The list goes on and on. But It’s time to call a spade, a spade.
If you are a wife and you are not loyal to your husband, you are not a good wife. If you are a wife and you are not having sex with your husband (I mentioned this in a previous post) like the one out of every four Western/American wives, you are not a good wife. If you are a wife and you put your happiness and pleasure, above and at the risk of your family, you are not a good wife. If you are a wife, and you have a male friend that you hang out and communicate with independent of your husband, you are not a good wife. Either your “friend” is the backup, or your husband is. If you dress in a way that you show your body form to anyone except your husband, you are not a good wife. I knew someone that was trying to tell me she dressed conservatively and appropriately, while parading around in yoga pants! Get real. No husband wants another guy gawking at their wife’s ass, and if a woman needs that kind of affirmation and attention from guys other than her husband…you guessed it, she’s not a good wife. If you don’t allow your husband to lead, you are not a good wife. I am all for communicating and consulting your wife, and others, but the end decision, especially when it comes to your husband’s concerns, is the husband’s…he is the one who leads and protects his domain and the family. If you bring masculine traits to your relationship because you feel men and women are the same, you are a dim witted wife. Know that sameness and equity…equality and equity are not interchangeable. Men have strengths, and women have strengths that should complement each other, not compete with each other. A wife’s strengths and beauty are in her femininity and nurturing nature, not in her brashness to be and act like men. Finally, If you claim to be a follower of the truth, or of the people of the book (Jews and Christians) and you are not submitting to your husband per your faith, you are not only not a good wife, but a liar . Don’t take some parts of your religion and discard the others, if you are a true believer. And last but not least, it goes without saying…If you cheat on your husband, you are, to put it generously, not a good wife. Your problems are much bigger than that. You need to either leave the marriage, or fix all of the above, and more.
Know what you bring to the table. This life is short, and youth and good looks fade quickly, but character is something one can count on. Just as there’s good, solid karate and karate one would be ashamed of, there are good girls… and sadly, good time girls. May we all be aware, choose wisely, and may we all strive to be better.
Shoshin Karate-Do International 