Finding Our Way Back…Together.

As we all witness and experience the many challenges during this Covid pandemic, we have no choice but to face, head on, what truth means to each of us. We have been witnessing precious souls being taken from this earth, loss of jobs and businesses, political divides, social unrest, and UNCERTAINTY. Many are suffering and in pain. Many are finding opportunities to grow. Many are disconnecting from one another and many are finding ways to connect more deeply.

I see a strength in SPIRIT like never before. I am witnessing courage, fortitude and acts of true heroism emerging from the depths of pain, dedication, commitment and compassion.

I see Love.

I see the Hope.

I see the Good.

I see the Blessings.

One of the blessings my sons and I were divinely led to, is Shoshin Dojo and Sensei Hessam.

I discovered Shotokan karate when I was 18 years old. I practiced for many years and it brought me so much peace and connection. I felt like a beginner every day, as I showed up and stepped on to the dojo floor. Many times, I was so tired, as I was carrying a full schedule in college, a job and many other responsibilities. I never allowed fatigue to stop me and I always made the commitment to myself to show up to my karate practice. It was in that space that I truly was able to feel awareness. Awareness of myself, others, what I feared, what I longed for and what I needed. It was in that space when I first learned that I was in control of my mind, my thoughts and my body. I discovered I was capable. I was strong. I was free.

Sometimes, we would stand in kiba-dachi and shiko-dachi for the whole class. My Sensei was always reminding us of the foundation of karate; the basics. As I stood there, in that deep stance, punching, blocking and kicking, my body, eventually, made great attempts to take me out of the stance. My mind wanted to focus and maintain but the challenge was real. It was very hard. It took me showing up and working diligently to understand that the challenge was actually a gift to embrace. My Sensei would often stand right in front of me and I’ll never forget how that felt and what it meant to me. He possessed such peace in spirit and I yearned for that same peace myself. He stood there in support. He reminded me, daily, that I was capable. He would get in the stance right in front of me, close his eyes, and assure me that my mind could control my body. My breath could lead me through that moment in time. I only needed to believe. Each day, no matter what realities and challenges I was facing in my life, that is what I did. I showed up, I worked so hard and I believed.

I will fast forward and bring you to the present here with this extraordinary group, and Sensei, whom I now consider, my family.

During this period of uncertainty, my oldest son came to me one day and said he wished to take karate. I am definitely a believer in things happening just as they are supposed to and I trusted that I would be led to the right dojo and Sensei for my son.

I called Sensei Hessam and we had a beautiful and insightful conversation. I knew within seconds that this was exactly where, not only my son, Pierce, would begin his journey in karate, but I would be given the opportunity to continue on my own journey as well.

Under the restrictions and limitations of Covid, Sensei inspired everyone to join together in a park for training. My other son, Aston, decided he also wanted to give it a try and together, we headed to the park for our first practice. For almost 7 months we practiced a few to several days a week in the park and in various parking garages.

We trained, we focused, we thrived and together, we emerged from the challenges of living during this uncertain time. In such a short period, we became a family.

It has been and continues to be, a life-changing gift for each of us, every day. Sensei leads and guides us with true character, strength and wisdom while honoring and adhering to the true and traditional way of Master Funakoshi. He gratefully honors and carries on the legacy of his late Sensei, David Johnston, his teachers, and the tradition of Shotokan Karate-Do. I feel at home with this extraordinary group of fellow karateka and I feel so very grateful for Sensei Hessam. He is a daily, precious reminder, that a Beginner’s Mind will navigate each us on an amazing, internal journey of self-development and growth.

During these times, I hope we can all be reminded that we don’t necessarily have to do certain things and we shouldn’t consider hard things to be punishment. We get to do them. We are still standing. We are still here. Through all of the suffering, the struggle, the losses.

We, the ones still standing, get to be here.

We get to witness.
We get to survive.
We get to breathe.
We get to Live.

We don’t have to wake up in the morning. We are one of the lucky ones who gets to wake up in the morning.

We don’t have to help others. We are given another day to reach out and help our fellow neighbor, friend, one in need.

As we bear witness to our existence and all that we are feeling and experiencing, may we see this precious life and take in every moment. May we find truth. May we acknowledge Spirit. May we find the light and the Gratitude.

May we grieve and align in our spirit training and daily practice for all. May we thrive as we unite in Faith and Love.


May we appreciate what we, the ones still standing, get to do, for at least




I am beyond thankful for the gift of finding our way back to karate-do and to life, together. I have my two boys, an exceptional group of fellow karateka and the most remarkable, humble, gifted and kind, Sensei, to guide us. How wonderful this life is and how exciting it is to be on this journey, with each of you.

To all suffering

To all serving

To each and every one of you,

I see you.

You are loved.

You are honored.

You are a gift, you are a blessing and you are appreciated.

Thank you.

May our beginner’s minds be ready for anything and open to everything.


With Love,

Your humble and grateful student,

♥️ Sandy

She Had Me At Hello…

I run a small dojo in an industrial, isolated part of a small, sleepy town. I don’t have many students, and I don’t run classes on Friday evenings, so when a young lady called and said she was coming from Colorado on a Friday to train, I had to scramble. I had to first scramble to find students…any student to come to the dojo on a Friday evening. I mean who wants to come all the way from Colorado to train at an empty dojo, right?

Second, and more importantly, I had  to scramble to find a female student. I kept imagining this poor young lady, a visitor, a stranger to my town in an isolated, empty, industrial complex, being creeped out by a singular, hairy, middle-aged sensei…or worse yet, by a pack of unfamiliar men.

With panic on my mind, I frantically called around and finally  secured a few students, among them a lady.  I was set, now the only thing I had to do was to make sure I got to the dojo a bit early to make sure my visitor would not get lost in the midst of empty buildings.

It was important for me to make a good impression on my visitor. she came recommended from a sensei of whom I have the highest regard, and she could have chosen from a plethora of dojo in my area, so this was an honor indeed, and with that protective mindset, I set out for the dojo, a few minutes ahead of class to do my best teaching.

As I drove the long driveway to the dojo, I spotted a car in the empty parking, and panic set in. Here she was alone, warming up outside the dojo,  in an unknown place, vulnerable due to my negligence. Why couldn’t I have arrived earlier? Why did I put this poor soul in such a compromised position?  What was wrong with me? I sped up to park the car, to simultaneously greet her and apologize for my shortcoming.

To this day, I don’t know what exactly happened. I know the feeling, but I can’t explain it. As I approached her, she seemed a step ahead. She approached me too, and from there it was all over. She had full control. She looked ME in the eyes. She shook MY hand. I was not receiving her at my dojo. She was coming to my dojo. She had the upper hand. She wasn’t mean. She wasn’t aggressive, in fact she was quite pleasant…really pleasant,  but she had that something that reminded me of the times I would face off with sensei in jiu kamae, and I knew in an instant, before anything could even happen, that it was game over. I was already defeated. Done and cooked as they say. She had me at “hello” literally and figuratively, in the best karate sense!

That moment has stayed with me over time, and I’ve discussed it with my students, sometimes joking that if anyone needed back up that day, it was me, not her! For one, I learned that I shouldn’t make assumptions. More importantly, that karate is not just in the dojo. That first step into jiu kamae should be no different than that the first step in meeting someone. It’s not mean, it’s not aggressive. It’s silent confidence in the way a person is when they are in the moment…I think. I can’t explain it, but I’ve sure felt it.

Easy Come Easy go…The Drive Thru Dojo

Let’s get this clear from the get go. Karate-do is not transactional, at least not in my book, and not in my dojo. If it were, I’d be charging thousands per student. Fortunately it’s not transactional and I don’t charge thousands. What a sensei is, and does is really beyond monetary valuation. A sensei occupies a place unfamiliar to modern material living, and his impact on his students, if carefully observed, is equally transcendental. Now I know that some of you are scratching your heads and thinking I’m being opaque…saying to yourselves, what’s the big deal…I pay you, and you teach me how to kick and punch. And yes, you have a point if that’s all the 1% you want to get out of karate-do. But I can tell you from experience that you won’t last very long (at least in my dojo) if that’s all that you want. And you won’t last because your objective is material and/or ego based i.e. transactional, and ultimately void of the intended meaning and spiritual richness that prevents the walls (of continued training) from collapsing from within.

Years ago I recall a story told to me about Master Nakayama and a young Leslie Safar. For the sake of brevity I’ll just summarize. Mr. Safar was interested in starting karate, so he visited Master Nakayama’s dojo in Japan. He had saved up his money, and figured he’d pay and start training. Master Nakayama politely asked him to sit (properly, in seiza) outside the dojo and observe class. Mr. Safar obliged, thinking it was not an unreasonable request for him to sit and approve of the class before coming the next time to train. The next day, he eagerly arrived ready for his fist lesson on kicking and punching, but Master Nakayama politely requested him to sit and observe again. Thinking that his approval is imminently of important significance, he agreed and sat and watched again. This transaction went on for a quite awhile, weeks maybe even a month, until Mr. Safar realized that, it was not his approval that Master Nakayama wanted, but an insight into his humility and determination. Mr. Safar’s approval was immaterial. The barriers to entry were made painfully difficult to ensure that Mr. Safar’s interest in karate-do was beyond an ego transaction. The story continues with more humor and depth, but I think the point is clear. Incidentally, some many, many decades later Mr. Safar is still training and is one of the most renown karateka of world today.

Sadly, the modern sensei rivals the used car salesman in his zest to sell at any cost, to any person, at any age…often using dubious schemes and contracts. Even more disconcerting; however, is the student, not willing to “sit seiza and observe”….assuming that they can pay and simply adopt a cash is king cavalier attitude towards what should be a life long pursuit of self discovery and perfection of character.

Recently I had a mother come to the dojo, wanting her six year old kid to try out class, claiming he had been training since age two. Immediately, the red flags came up and I asked her to sit (on comfy chairs) quietly and observe the class with her son. I also told her to make sure to look at other dojo in the area, to make sure she knows exactly what she is getting. For me this has always been protocol, a slight take on Master Nakayama’s idea of  making the barrier to entry a little less transactional. Anyways, she was taken aback by my candor, incredulous to the fact that I would be turning away a paying client by not jumping on the opportunity to score a sale. The long story short, she stayed for the class, watched and never showed again. Easy come, easy go.   I don’t lament the fact that this person didn’t return. I’ve been on this journey long enough to know that like Leslie Safar, if you don’t want it bad enough, it’s just a trophy occupying space….and at this dojo, we’re all about emptying space. After all, this is the empty hand way.

An Attachment to Detachment

One of the most profound insights I have gained from Sensei Johnston, came at the most inopportune time. It was after a particularly frustrating and tough class for me.  I had been struggling with the inequities of life, especially as it pertained to my impending divorce, and Sensei could see it in the forced nature of my karate practice.

In typical fashion, without fanfare or any pretentious gravitas, and forever stripped of all future romantic notions of zen teachings in the midst of nature, Sensei accompanied me to the “loo” where he disappeared behind the stall.

As the changing area cleared out, and I was the only one left, dragging my heels to the more domestic frustrations and fears at home, he cleared his throat, and said….”Hessam, you need to be a little more detached from it. It will help you, greatly.”

I wish I could say a beam of light was emanating from the occupied stall, but I simply looked over to the bland, stall door and thanked Sensei as I walked out to what was to become an unintended, slow seeping, life changing process.

To be fair, Sensei had been training us to be detached whilst in class. During “Mokuso”, when facing our opponents in kumite, and even while performing kata. Sensei’s idea of focus was that it ebbed and flowed. At times it needed to be laser sharp, followed by periods of retracted, generalized focus. With meditation it was the same. He would say to observe the inputs, be aware of them but don’t try to control them and don’t be attached to any one of them.

This idea of being almost “outside the self”, observing  realities from a different/neutral vantage point, without a need to control, did indeed help me greatly, as Sensei predicted. And it has helped tremendously in many other stressful and emotional situations since. I am forever grateful for Sensei’s words of wisdom, even from beyond the “loo”…I just wish he were still here to answer my new conundrum…

How to deal with detachment, when detachment becomes the attachment!


The 31 flavors of Bask….Shotokan Karate

My three boys will often coyly approach me, invariably in the presence of their rival siblings, and ask who the favorite is….

My answer has always been, “You three are like my favorite three flavors of ice cream…sometimes I’m in the mood for vanilla and sometimes it’s chocolate or strawberry, but those three flavors will always be my top best picks!”

Many people ask me what I like best about karate, or they ask me to define what I mean when I say we teach traditional shotokan karate-do. This is a simple yet complex question, with equally varied and opaque answers…and the questions and answers  can similarly be reduced to ideas within karate…for example what is “fighting spirit”? To me, fighting spirit is the voice that tells me to get up in the morning and fix my bed. To others, that may be a joke and it may mean something entirely more physical or macho.

So what is traditional karate? Does the fact that we, at Shoshin,  have eliminated competition and tournaments from our curriculum make us more traditional…or conversely those who participate in tournament karate, less traditional? What is it exactly that makes shotokan karate traditional, especially when shotokan itself is a mishmash of shurite, nahate, tomarite….of Okinawan sensibilities mixed with mainland Japanese values?

I know I might sound like a used car salesman when I give different answers to the same question, but in all honesty those answers are not to placate the questioner…they genuinely reflect my sentiments at the time. Maybe an example would help.

Sometimes I go into the dojo and just feel like hitting the bag…violently. I use my elbows, knees, I slap it and have even head butted it. I don’t care if it looks pretty or if its precise. I just hit. Its ugly, but you should see how the bag looks!

At other times I go to the dojo and fixate, and obsessively repeat the minutiae of a movement requiring fine motor skills…knowing full well that in a “real” situation all fine motor skills (hell even control of my bowel movements) will be lost, and therefore utterly useless. And yet, I’m there man, deriving manic pleasure like a man with ecsema and his pumice stone!

And then there are those unicorn and rainbow days…The dojo is all mine, I shut the shades, and off I go to la la land with my katas. I am zen. Broke? Pfft…Divorced? Pfft…Permanently looking the exact opposite of Brad Pitt? Pfft…(come on sing the tune, you know it) ain’t no mountain high enough, ain’t no valley low enough…you get the picture…

So what’s my point with all this silliness? Karate needs to be relevant to the practitioner, and that relevance can change from time to time. On days that I want zen and peace, I may not want to head butt anything. A good karate school will harness those few flavors within the framework of honesty, hard work, and mutual respect. The fact that shotokan karate can extract relevance is what makes it traditional to the practitioner, and assures its viability for the needs of the next generation.

Now ask me next week, and I may be lactose intolerant and give you a completely different answer!




I Failed My Student

I recently conducted our bi annual testing for the students. Typically I use the  “B” pass or full pass method to measure my students progress. Rank is awarded not on athleticism or physical prowess, but upon an assessment of   (1) time spent  training at the  dojo, and more importantly, (2) whether the student has pushed himself or herself to the limits of their personal potential.

I often tell my students, the actual test is just like the period at the end of the sentence…the sentence itself, the crux of matter, is all the time and effort, and attention to detail you spent in the dojo honing your skills (physical and otherwise) for the previous 6 months.

In fact, testing is as much a testing of me as sensei, as it is of my students, and as my students will vouch, I am an ornery, nervous wreck for the month preceding testing! A student can have a one off and perform poorly on an examination, but knowing that he or she has diligently plied his craft and trade to maximum potential, he knows exactly where he stands. For me however; the test is a deadline for assessing if I was able to tap into whatever it takes to motivate my student to reach their potential.

For me, the test is a moment of truth…did I convey the message I was tasked to convey….or did I fail my student?

The Place for the Way….Dojo

I would often ask Sensei for updates about so and so’s training, abroad.  Sensei would look at me with a sense of sadness and resignation and say…” Well, he is training…but he’s picked a dojo, conveniently near his house where after training, he and the “blokes” go out for a drink. You know… the atmosphere is casual and fun, like a club.”

Sensei’s look was enough for me to understand. He was teaching me, warning me, and rightfully so. Here in sunny California, the casual style is part and parcel of our identity. you know…flip flops, shorts, maybe a T-shirt… Oh no, I’m not kidding!  Just think about it…you don’t see signs warning people “no shirt, no shoes, no service” in the UK, or the Middle East, or anywhere else in the world? So it is an unexaggerated reality.

Admittedly, while there is a comfort and ease to being casual, there’s also a lurking danger with being too casual. It is the natural danger of being lulled into complacency.

The separation of ways must be made in some place. A place where  paths diverge from one’s norm. It may be a church, it may be a temple, or a mosque. Equally so, by its definition it must be the dojo. “Do” meaning the way, and “Jo” meaning the place of, suggests  a place, not of destination, but of travel. A place for the way. A place for the way (dojo) suggest one is pursuing change, betterment, enlightenment. Otherwise we’d call it a gym or studio, or a club, and Sensei would be called, God forbid, a coach or a trainer.

We take measures to ensure that “the way” is enforced. We remove our shoes, we wear our dogi (again the term “do”), and we perform zazen. All these are changes from our norm, prompting us to pursue the “do”.

If one lacks this understanding, and continues the usual casualness, one has lacked the fundamental premise of why they are doing karate-do, even before they have stepped foot in the dojo! Lacking a respect and understanding for the dojo and its way, means believing one has no need for a way, presumably because one already believes they are all that and a bag of chips! For such people, the only way… is the way out. Leave. Find the exit. you’ll be doing yourself a favor by not wasting your time.

Camaraderie may be a by product of the dojo, not the reason for going to the dojo. Camaraderie  comes after the dojo, outside the dojo. In the dojo it’s all about formality, and seriousness and introversion. Even those who train to get a “good workout” at the dojo, have completely missed the point. One comes to the dojo to submit oneself and one’s ego to the way of karate with the help of their sensei, for the betterment of one’s character; therefore, if all you’ve satisfied is a physical workout, you’ve lost.

I encourage myself first, and then all karateka to be mindful and aware of the sanctity of the dojo. From the very moment you wear your dogi you should feel as if something has changed. when you  bow to enter the dojo, feel as if you have entered a different realm, and feel that a way with tremendous depth is about to be presented to you. Follow what your sensei teaches, and submit to the way.

This latter statement will be the topic of my next blog, namely the need for a skill called emotional intelligence. Stay tuned!


Psst…Hey Kid, Why Ya Doin’ That Stuff Anyway?

Every once in awhile, a Sensei is lucky enough to have a student that fully grasps the ethos of traditional karate-do, its structure, its intent and its relative significance to themselves and others within the larger scope of life. Such students, by virtue of their awareness, become quite close confidants to their Sensei.

In a recent conversation with my student, (to save him embarrassment, I’ll leave him anonymous) I lamented the fact that not one of the students in the kids class were there to train on their own volition…and if given the opportunity they would all quit posthaste, including my own sons.

The response he gave was quite revealing and insightful, and I must say I agree. He said it was important to communicate to the students in class, the reasons why they train…the reason why they are pursuing a traditional karate curriculum where training is difficult, austere and repetitive, rather than fun, exciting and entertaining. Furthermore one has to constantly set bars and goals, and remind students that at such and such a stage much more is required and expected of them. Those bars, for example, can be their belt, and one can say…” you are now a yellow belt and I expect yellow belt stances from you”.

He continued by saying (and I am partly surmising and adding my own feelings)  that for him and his family, karate-do represents a microcosm of life, and the struggles one faces in life are played out on a smaller scale on the dojo floor. Overcoming the challenges in the dojo…facing fears, frustrations, boredom, failures even, helps to face similar challenges later in life. But this must be communicated and explained to the kids. If a child wants to quit, for example, one can remind them that their actions today will reflect on how they will cope with challenges later in life.

As the parent and Sensei of three boys, I am in an even more difficult position to get serious training out of my kids. It is no wonder that traditionally, Sensei have sent their kids to train with other Sensei. I have bribed, chided, argued, threatened, rewarded, and “friended” and “unfriended” my boys to get them to the dojo…until recently.

It all began with my 14 year old son. After 5 years of training, reaching the rank of 1st kyu, he met his first big challenge…and came up short (I personally think this was the biggest asset he gained, but that’s for another blog). I awarded him a “retest” for his shodan in 6 months. His initial reaction was that he wanted to quit…and frankly I was so tired of “forcing” the boys to train that I stopped resisting and told him and the other two, that the choice was theirs. I had done my part, and if they wanted to quit, they could do so. I walked away and didn’t address issue.

The next day, as I was preparing to come to the dojo “solamente”, to my surprise, I saw all three boys up and ready to come to the dojo. Nothing was said, and I haven’t since, pried to see why they decided to come back…but they have come back, for now.

Maybe I was lucky…maybe the kids really do know that karate is good for them, but I do think, I could have saved a lot of grief…and bribe money… had I explained the reasons and benefits of traditional karate training for their future challenges and endeavors.

Not completely satisfied, I called up a famous and high ranking Sensei, and told him that none of my young students were there to train, because they wanted to train. He beamed and he said, “that’s a good sign, Hessam”. He continued by telling me that he himself and many other senior karateka, started karate because they were forced into it by their circumstances or parents, and boy were they grateful for it today. It was his feeling that kids are too young to grasp the significance of their training, and sheer discipline was the way forward. He said the nature of traditional karate-do training will leave one  with few students anyways, noting that he himself only had less than a half dozen or so students, and that most other famous traditionalists also had very few students. He finished by saying, “In a world of commercial dojos, where people have to cut corners to increase enrollment to feed themselves, I should see it as badge of honor that I have few students, and that I’m carrying a torch that few can carry.”

…Now to find a way to get back all that money I used to bribe my boys…. :))

Strengthen Your Core, Wear Socks!

Years ago when I was training with Sensei Moshfegh, I recall a particular moment when he corrected my front stance. As I was in stance, ready to vigorously move to the next stance, Sensei Moshfegh kindly looked me up and down and said…” Your front foot toes, what are you doing with your toes?” Recalling my conversations with students of Nishiyama Sensei, I responded…”Sensei, I’m gripping the floor with my toes. Like a tiger, I use it to pull and push into the next stance!” He smiled, and said, “Relax your toes…” As I did so, I felt a slight imbalance in my stance, and recovered.  Sensei smiled again and said ” When you relax your front toes, you lose balance, but if you engage your core instead, you regain balance. That is better for the body and better for balance.”

As years went by, that simple lesson had a profound impact on my own personal training, and I tried to observe the minutiae in others as they perfected their karate . Watching them encouraged me to try different methods to improve my own karate.

One method that has been particularity beneficial to me, has been the use of non stick socks whilst training on wood floors. The socks obviously create more slip, forcing one to slow down moves to prevent falls, but also creates a fluidity to one’s motions.

Mostly though, I’ve noticed that the use of socks forces extra work on the core muscles, especially in outside pressure stances like front stance or back stance. In these stances, with socks on, the feet no longer are the sole (no pun intended) stabilizers of the stance. Since the feet feel like they are slipping, one has to rely on the tightening of the core and gluteus maximus muscles to maintain balance.

I encourage others to try different methods in their personal training, be it the use of elastic bands, weighted vests, or ankle weights. My experience has been that performing kata in socks, more fully engages the core, and forces the body to control the muscles that are being used, by moving a degree slower…it is also a great way to clean the dojo floor!


Kicking And Punching Your Way To Becoming A Better Person

The notion seems counterintuitive at first glance, but intention is everything, here. One might kick and punch to exercise one’s ego and reinforce one’s inferiority complex, or conversely,  one may do the same to exorcise the ego in hopes of attaining  superiority over the self.

The repetitive nature of karate-do, the continual breakdown of techniques to its most elemental form and the insistence of rebuilding it with perfection, with awareness,  all lends itself to becoming the ideal tool for transformation. But as with any tool, karate-do can be used to build or to destroy.

Sensei Moshfegh used to tell me, “karate is therapy…the kick and the punch, and what you see is like the surface of the ocean viewed from the beach…but the ocean isn’t what you see from the beach. The ocean is all that life and activity, deep under the surface that you cannot see, and karate is the same.”

At the time I was young and immature. When Sensei Moshfegh told me karate was therapy, my mind only fathomed physical therapy. What I pictured was my limbs, and I assumed the depth of the ocean was my, at the time undiscovered, ego driven infatuation with the depths of my sinewy muscles, which I all too often wanted others to admire! Oh what a waste of precious time!

But thank God I matured! Through karate-do, through the insistence of my Sensei, in particular Sensei Johnston, a transformation occurred. Repetition, specifically solitary repetition, where the only stimuli was internal, forced me to look at myself. One move of a kata, and more often, one part of one move of a kata was “mind numbingly” repeated to exorcise the idea that I was there to be entertained…that there was anything there other than me.

With nowhere to go but within, I began to pair the external technique with the internal feeling. For every move that Sensei made me repeat because it wasn’t  good enough, I peeled away a layer of my ego, and in time…a  long time, I noticed a more relaxed and humble self…a self that I began to actually like and enjoy. As Sensei pushed me to become more present and aware of technique at that moment in time, and only that moment in time, a picture began to emerge of a true me, a real me. A me that was sincere and not hiding behind a facade.  A me that could transact a relationship in the moment as it unfolded, just like the technique, without preconceived notions or barriers.

As awareness of the “me” grew, awareness of “other than me” began to diminish, and reaction turned to action, hardness turned to softness and  I noticed qualities in me that I had long admired in my sensei over the years.

Though the process is always ongoing, and my progress has been just a drop on the bucket, to this day I smile and debate to myself whether the repeated physical movements made me more humble, or, the discovery of my insignificance relative to the world, that made me more physically relaxed. Either way, I can most assuredly say, if the intention is right, you can kick and punch yourself to a devastatingly more softer and gentler self!